Let's annoy Edward
by The Twilight lover
Summary: A day while the others are out hunting emmett get's borred. He end up surfing around og youtube where he finds a video on how to annoy Edward. He decide to try it of to see if it's true. Later on Alice and other people get's involved. Read and figure out how it'll turn out. R&R. T just to be sure. ALL VAMPS. Han beslutter at afprøve den. Senere bliver Alice m.m. involveret I
1. Like a Virgin

**AN: Hi this is my first fanfic so please tell me if i wrote some things wrong. Im from denmark and im only 13 yeas. But anyway hope you like to read the story.**

**disclaimer: I only own Twilight in my dreams :( Every thing belongs to SM exept this story.**

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Empov:

It's late. The others are out hunting. Everyone except me and Edward. Edward of cause is just sitting and play on his piano. I sit with the laptop and search for funny videos when I suddenly fall over a video that sounded fun. 54 way to annoy Edward Cullen. I click at it and blocked my thoughts so Edward didn't see what I was about to do.

Nr. 1: _Prance around and sing ´Like a virgin´ at the top of you lungs every morning._

Ha it's going to be so much fun.

Suddenly someone knock at the door. I jumped up in shock."Emmett it's Alice. Please open the door." I walk over to the door and opened the door so I could check that Edward wasn't there to. When I was sure I let her come in. "Emmett that's a brilliant idea I know it's going to work. I've seen it." "I know, but please don't say anything to anyone." " Relax Emmett. Do you seriously think that I want skip all the fun. Emmett you of all should know me." She said and left the room. I started the bed reckless searching for some things to do while waiting on the sun to rise. You might think that after 77 years that might be easy but no. Not for me. I decided to play some NFS. It got fast boring. After finish the game for 20th time in my existence. I looked out of the window just in time to see Alice wink after me from behind a tree. I opened the window and jumped out. I ran over to Alice. "Are you ready?" Alice looked at me. What do she think? Am I not all ways ready? "OHH HELL YES" I smiled at her and she smiled back. She lifted her little hand and counted to three. When the last finger was down I began yelling the song.

Days step by and Alice and I yelled the song every morning and sang it in our head the rest of the day. Edward was getting really pissed. Bella had not been home in a month so she hadn't heard our song. Alice told me that she would be home in two days. Edward missed her like hell and we didn't help a lot. Edward had asked us to stop. But would we stop before the fun even began? No not ever. The days went fast and Bella came home. Edward and Bella was as normal in the cottage in the night. GOD HELL MIGHT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING.

_Nr. 2:- Especially sing it when Bella is around to hear._

Ha. "ALICE COME HERE PLEASE!" I heard steps on the stairs right before she brushed in. " What is it Emmett? Oh what a brilliant idea. Let's go." We ran past the river and trough the forest. While we got over to the cottage we began to sing again. We heard a growl right before Edward came out. "Are you guys not done yet. PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP! AND I MEAN IT!" With that he turned around and shut the door. We ran back to the house. We only made it to the living room where we began to laugh. Edward was so pissed at us that he didn't speak to us the rest of the day. But he just had to wait. This wasn't over yet. This was just the beginning.

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**AN. Hi i hoped you liked it. Please let me know by review. Anyway hope you will read next chapter that i expect to be up soon.**


	2. Doesn't work

**AN: Hi. Here is chapter two. Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight.**

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Empov.

Me and Alice ran up to my laptop. We were going to find the next thing to annoy Edward with

_Nr. 3: At their wedding reception, ruin it by tell Charlie that has been ''sleeping'' with Bella for two years._

"ARRGH They has nearly been married for one year. That obviously don't work." Alice looked at me "Emmett what did you seriously expected? The video was made in 2009. It was BEFORE the wedding." She slapped my head before starting the video again.

_Nr. 4: Hire a stripper to pop out of the wedding cake._

"Nahh that doesn't work either. And his birthday is far away so we can't use it there either. That's to sad. It would have been fun. Try image his face." I began laugh at the thought. Alice didn't look like she think it was funny. "What's wrong sis?" I looked at her pale face. "I can only image Bella's reaction. And I don't think it is so funny." She was right. Now when she said it I also could see it. "Oh that I didn't think about. Poor Bella." Suddenly her face light up. "anyway let's see what the next is. I stated the video.

_Nr. 5: Bye a sex-ed book and put it in his locker. Make sure that every time he opens the locker it falls out in view of the school._

"Ha let's take over to the store now and then to the school." I looked at Alice. She was already out of my room. I ran after her to her garage. We took the Jeep to Seattle. We fast found the the store. There was a lot of books but we found the one it should be. We brought the book and drove to the school. We found his locker. Alice of cause knew all of our passwords. She unlocked it and tried to find out how to place the book so that it would fall out while it got opened. We filled his locker with glossy paper so all his books only could be there. We put the sex book on the top and locked the door before it could fall out. Then we drove home. "Were had you two been?" I jumped in shock. It was Carlisle. "Just out for a drive. We was bored." Alice fast explained smiling to him. "Ok but there not so long to the school begins so get ready. Alice ran up to her and Jaspers room to find some clothes and get dressed. I was half way up the stairs while Carlisle called my name. "Emmett. I know that you and Alice is planing some things. Why don't you just tell the truth?" "Sorry Carlisle but I cant. It's a secret." I turned around and ran up to my room and got dressed. I met with the others in the garage. Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and me drove in the M3 while Bella and Edward drove in the Volvo. When we got to the school we just stood by the cars. No one said a word. The stupid bell rang and we got in. My first lesson: Biology. I hide me behind a wall teen feets away from his locker. "What are you doing Emmett?" Rosalie asked me "Schhhhh look." I said pointing at Edward Just in time for her to see him open the locker and and the book fall out. Every one turned there heads in his direction laughing Even Rosalie laughed. Bella that stood beside him chucked a little before help him get all the books that felled out back into the locker again. They got to their class. I still laugh as I ran to my class. Alice had promised me that she would fix it after every time. And so she did. When we got home Edward threw the book after me but missed. It crash right into the wall were it made a mark. "EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN YOU COME RIGHT HERE AND IT'S NOW!" Esme yelled from the kitchen. Edward walked out to her but on the way out he hit my shoulder. Alice came over to me whispering. "Damn we need to find a new thing to do. Edward destroyed the book total." She walked over and picked the rest of the book up and threw it in the trash. "Hey Emmett." Rosalie got over to me. "What honey?" "What are you and Alice doing? Edward seems so mad bye the time." "Oh nothing." I smiled at Alice. She walked over to Rosalie whispering every thing in her ear. "Ha. Can't I help you.. Please." I still looked at Alice. "Okay." Rosalie smiled. "But you'll have to hide your thoughts and it's not allowed to tell anyone. Ok ?" "Yeah I promise." We got over to the laptop again and started the video.

_Nr. 6: Tell Aro that Edward wants to elope with him._

"I don't think it is true but HA Edward will hate us if we said so." "Yeah Rosalie you absolutely right let's get away. We have a plain to catch." We laughed wile we got out to the cars.

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**AN: Please review. It realy make me happy. :D**


	3. Planning on running ?

**AN: Hi again readers. I'm sorry that i hadn't updatet in so long. I just moved into a house so i couldn't update. Anyway, Thanks for review last cap. **

**Disclamer: I don't own Twilight. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

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Empov

We arrived at the airport in one hour. Yeah, we drove fast but is that a new thing? I doubt that. Our plane flew at 3:00 pm. Alice hadn't packed many clothes but that was because we would be home again in under a week. Alice and Rosalie sat talking about a shopping trip they were planning. The time went fast and at same time too slow. It was boring, listening to girl talk. The only thing I heard was blah, blah, blah and a few words like bags, hairdresser and MAKE-UP!

"OH, COME ON! I HAVE TWO WORD TO YOU GIRLS... SHUT UP!" I couldn't take it anymore.

Alice turned her head around to face me. "Emmett seriously, GET A LIFE!"

"HEY I HAVE A LIFE!" I defended myself.

"Apparently not." She muttered.

"Sorry Emmett but sometimes she's right." Rosalie came over and gave me a hug and sat on my lap. I smiled at her.

"Okay love-birds we are in an airport and our plane just arrived. Are you guys ready?"

"Never been more ready in my lives... um existence." Rosalie pulled me up and we walked hand in hand to our plane.

When we were high over the clouds, I turned the TV in front of me on. I had brought some horror movies. It was pretty lame but it meant I had something to do.

We arrived in Italy in a few hours and Alice stole a car so we could drive to Volterra. The guards were out, constantly looking for danger. They were very big, but not as big as me. When we came up to the entrance they placed themselves in front of us. We told them that we wanted to talk to Aro so they showed us to him. When we came to some massive double doors the guard named Felix stopped and turned around. **  
**

"Wait here I'm coming back in three seconds." And so he did. When he came back and held the door open for us, we walked in. There were three big thrones in the middle of the huge room.

"Hello my friends, what can I do for you?" Aro stood and walked over to us. Alice walked over to meet him and shook his hand.

"Like you saw we are in the process of annoying Edward but we need some help from your side."

"Yes I saw. What is the reason that you decided to annoy him if I may ask?" Aro sounded amused.

"When you're a vampire you have lots of free time and this is our way of having fun." Alice told him.

"Okay I'll help you. We travel tonight if it's okay with you." We all just nodded.

00:00 pm

We drove back to Forks at 200 mph. "Aro you know what you have to say right?" Alice looked at him.

"Yes Alice I know. I just have to act that I'm excited and tell him that I'll elope with him. He'll look at me like I'm a crazy asshole and I'll tell him that you came to Volterra to tell me."

"Exactly. I can't wait to see his face! Oh and Emmett I think you will be the first he'll blame so I guess you have to see him from far away. Sorry."

DAMN SHE IS RIGHT. I put on a mask to hide my sadness. Why is it always me he blames first? Maybe because it always is you who annoy him, a voice in my head told me. "Nah don't think on that Alice I'll be okay."

"You sure Emmett?"

"Yes but let's not talk about that. We're all most home."

"Okay time to hide thoughts." When we arrived at the house Alice got out and ran to the cottage to get Edward over here and to tell Bella. I began to hear the sound of someone who was running.

Edward.

I looked over at Aro. He stood with a big grin on his face. Edward came over to us. "Hi Aro. What bring here to Forks if I may ask?"

"Um, I gotta go." I said before Aro had time to answer.

"Your brother and sisters came to Volterra to tell me that you wanted to elope with me and I came here to tell you that I accept your question."

Edward looked in my direction. "EMMETT, GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OVER HERE. NOW!" He yelled.

"Um, sorry Edward. I'm kinda busy."

"Listen Aro this is just one of Emmett's sick jokes. I don't want to elope with you. I'm happy right where I am. And excuse me. I have a brother to kill."

Shit, with that I ran all I could. Edward of cause that was much faster than me and caught up to me very fast. Just before he got me I ran into the house and right into the kitchen and hid behind Esme.

"Emmett what are you doing?"

"Nothing, I'm just running away from Edward. He wants to kill me."

"Okay. But no fighting in the house and you know it." She smiled lovingly at me.

"Yeah I know mom." I smiled back at her.

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**AN: Hope you like it. Tell me by review. Please.**

**Oh I almost forgot. I ****promised that I would put in the link to the video. Here it is: watch?v=HuTKjAmv3GA**


	4. Bloody airfreshener

**A/N: Hi. I'm so sorry it took so long updating... I hope you still wanna read it. First I wanna say that i'm happy to see that there was a few that wantet me to continue the story... Also thanks to my Beta Addicted2snickers Thank you so much for helping me with my story :D:D **

**Disclamer: I don't own Twilight sadly. It all belongs to SM. I only own this story :D:D R&R**

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**Empov:**

**I hid behind Esme as Edward burst into the kitchen. "EMMETT, I'M GONNA **_KILL_** YOU," he roared! Esme turned to look at me with an accusing look and said, "Emmett, what did you do?"**

**"Er - umm...," my voice trailed off. Did she really expect me to say, "Oh, I'm just trying to annoy the hell out of Edward"**

_"Emmett," _**her usually calm voice sounded a bit impatient. I finally gave up, knowing they would win anyone and said, "All right, all right! I went to Italy and told Aro that Edward wanted to elope with him," I admit sheepishly. "It wasn't just me though," I cried defensively when they give me incredulous looks. "Alice and Rosalie also helped." I was beginning having trouble hiding my grin which just got bigger and bigger. Edward's face was livid and just as I was about reason with him, he lunged at me. He grabbed me by the arm and threw me at the wall, successfully breaking it. I flew into the living room where the girls were sitting and talking on the couch. The attack barely affected me and I jumped back up. Just then, Edward came storming into the living room. " Edward!" Bella tried get his attention, but he ignored her and lunged at me instead, missing. **_"Edward,"_** she tried again, but more stern this time. He disregarded this too and stared at me. I just looked back not knowing what to do. "Edward," Bella yelled! This time he looked at her. "Yes, love?" he asked in a soft voice. "Stop it, please! Ignore him, he only wants you to get pissed. That's why he's doing it," she said, trying to reason with him. He surrendured and said,"Ok, love. **_But if he does it again, I'll kill him,_**" he hissed and looking in my direction. I gave Bella a thankful smile that quickly disappeared when she gave me a look."Er - I think I'll go to my room," I say awkwardly. "You coming, babe?" I looked over at Rosalie. "Sure, I'll be right there." I walked over to the stairs, with Rosalie trailing not to far behind and looked over at the girls before I walked up to my room. I sat on my couch and opened my laptop.**

**_7 - Smear blood over Edward's new car's Air Freshener and blame it on Jacob._**

**Getting Jacob involved would be wicked! Suddenly, the door swung open and I quickly shut the laptop shut, causing a cracking sound in the process. I turned around to look at my guest which was... **_A GIRL_**.**

_"Fuck!"_** "What's wrong, Emmett?" Bella asked looking at me curiously at me. I yell furiously, **_"You guys made me fucking crack my computer!"_

**"Emmett, calm down or I'll got get Edward," Bella said, "Okay, but next time, please knock. You owe me a new computer because you made me break mine, though." "Yeah, I know. You saw number 7 didn't you?" "Yeah, I did. We're going to smear Edward's cars Air Freshener with blood and then blame it on Jacob." "Okay, this is what we're going to do. Emmett, you go out and find a big bear," she instructs me. "Rosalie, when Emmett comes back, smear the bear's blood on his Air Freshener and I'll get Jacob to come here. Any questions?" We both shake our heads in a no. "Great, let's do it," Bella says enthusiastically. With that, I ran out into the woods. It didn't took me long to find a bear. I snatched it by it's neck and ran back to the house with it.**

**When I got back, Alice was standing there with Jacob. His face was curled up in an idiotic smile. I looked around and noticed that Rosalie sat on top of the car. I walked over and gave her a peck on the lips, then dropped the bear at her feet. "Here you go, sweetie," I smiled at her. She walked over to Jacob and he gave her glove I hadn't seen him wear. She put it on, got over to the car and began working on it. Time passed slowly, but she finally finished. After we had everything set, we walked into the house and acted like nothing had happened. Rose and I walked up to my room. I began to play Xbox while Rosalie watched.**

**I look at my clock - 7:00. Not bad. It was time to go to school. I smirked evilly as Edward and Bella walked over to the Volvo - or should I call it blood-freshener? Edward helped Bella in as he normal do. Then he walked over to the driver seat and sat in. "Edward, could you please turn on the air Freshener? It smells like blood in here," she said. He leaned over to turn it on.**

**"**_What the fuck_**!? EMMETT!" I guess he just figured it out. "Edward, I swear, it wasn't me this time. It was Jacobs idea, but I didn't like it."**

**He still didn't look convinced. "Why should I believe you, Emmett?" "Because it isn't my sent on the car, but his." He looked skeptically at me and replied, "Are you sure?" "Of course! If you don't believe me, check it yourself. Edward seemed to believe me and he stalked out of the garage. I walked out just in time to see Edward yell, **_"Jacob, COME HERE!"_

**"Run, Jake," I yelled before Edward ran full speed towards the main house. "Daddy, please don't hurt Jake. He's my best friend," I heard Nessie plea. "I'm sorry, Nessie," he said and right after I heard an awful crack and a blood-curdling scream. "**_Emmett, get over here!"_** Poor Edward, I guess Esme just came home. I ran over to the main house. There was a big hole in the wall that led out to the kitchen. Jacob peered through the hole. Edward murmured "Sorry,"and walked out in the direction of the cottage. While he was gone, I ran over to Jacob and so did Nessie. Jake and I had became good friends over the last few months. "Hey, bro, you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine. But next time, don't blame it on me, kay?" "Sure, thing. Then it's Bella's idea," I say with an evil grin. Just then Bella came up behind me and said,"What's my idea?" "Oh, nothing Bells," I say with an innocent smile."Jacob?" "Emmett's, right, it's nothing." I helped him off he floor and lay him down on the couch.**

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**A/N: Hi I hope you liked it. If you want me to write more review.. :D:D**


	5. Ya sure Rose ?

**A/N:**** Hi again. Yeah I'm sorry it took so long to update the story, but I just couldn't find the time to make it. I hope that the next cap. will be up soon, and I swear it'll be up before christmas. Also I need a new beta. R&R.**

**I don't own Twilight. SM does. But i wish i did. It would be awesome.**

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Empov:

"Jake, are ya sure you are ok?" I asked him."Yeahh, guess so. Hey wanna check the next step in the vid.?" "HELL YEAH." I yelled. Suddenly I remembered something. "Ummm just one problem..." "What Emmett are ya scared that he'll hit you? Are you a coward?" "No I'm not - I yelled - I umm... I kinda broke my laptop." "Ohh. Well.. Umm can't you borrow Alice's or Rosalie's ?" "Yeahh guess so. I'll go get them." "Why?" "They are also a part of this, if you remember." "Oh yeahh. Sorry I forgot." I ran up to me and Rose's room, where I knew the girls would be. I knocked on the door before opening it. "Hey girls. Wanna annoy Edward?" "Are you sure it's a good idea? Jacob just got thrown through a wall." "yeah I know, but it was his idea." "Key. We'll come down now. Umm I'll bring my laptop." I caught Alice in smiling, before I walked down the stairs again. When I came over to Jake, I sat beside him and smirked. Short after the girls came down the stairs, caring a laptop and sat on the floor in front of us. "Okay I have found the video, now lets watch it and see what we gotta do."

_8. Program his locker so that whenever he opens it it sings loudly; 'You and me baby we're nothing but mamals, so lets do it like we do on the discovery channel! Here we go now!' and reapeats. Tell him it was Jacob's idea._

At the last word we all turned our heads towards Jacob. "NO. NO I REFUSE! I WONT DO IT AGAIN!" He yelled. I smacked my hand over his mouth. "Shut up Jacob or he will come." I hissed. "Please don't make me do it." He said looking around with Pleading eyes. "Okay I'll do it." Rosalie volunteer. "Ya sure Rosie?" I asked her worried "I mean he'll get a..." "Emmett stop worry about me. I know how to deal with him." She flashed a smile towards me. "Okay. As long as your sure." She just nodded then got op. "Well what are we waiting for?" Alice jumped up. "We take the M3. Then they think me and Rose have gone shopping, and Emmett you go say to Carlisle, that you'll follow Jacob home. He'll understand." "Okay." I got up. "Drive the car up to the head-road. We'll meet you there. Jake ya coming?" I turned to watch him get up. "Yeah, I come now." "Great." I heard the car drive while I ran to Carlisle' office. I stopped outside the door and waited. "You can come in Emmett. It's not like you don't know I'm in here." He called out. I opened the door. "What can I help you with today Emmett?" "Umm, I just wanted to tell you that I'll take Jake home." "All right. If you need anything just call me, okay Jake?" "Yes Carlisle. I'll let you know." I closed the door before walking down the stairs with him. We walked a few meters down the drive, before I lifted him up. "HEY! Emmett set me back down!" he tried to get free. "Sorry Jake it'll go faster this way." and then I ran. As promised the girls waited for us at the end of the drive. "God. What took so long?" Rose asked "Sorry Rose, Carlisle had a few informations for Jake before he could go." Rose sighed before turning to the front. "Okay let's go." She started the engine and drove in the direction of the school. I waited outside, watching for anyone, so we wouldn't get busted. About twenty minutes later Rose and Alice came running out of the school building. "Okay. Me and Rose go shopping and you'll go home to Jake, so we can keep our story straight." Alice said while dragging Rose back to the car. "Okay..." I turned around facing Jake. "Do ya wanna run or me carry you?" "Umm I'll just run myself.. wait a second." And with that he ran into the woods to change. A few minutes later he howled after me. I ran into the woods at human speed. When I was a few meters into the woods I ran faster. I got up to him in no time. Since Nessie was born we had got free access to the beach and permission to visit the wolves. By now I've got a lot of friends on the other side of the border line. As soon as we got to La Push, we ran to the beach. Jake ran home to get some swim trunks, while I just jumped into the water. Jake soon after came back in black trunks decorated with small russet wolves. Bella gave him them for his birthday. I couldn't believe that he actually used them. He must have told the others that we were here, because soon after Seth, Leah and a few others joined us. I sneaked in on Jake - who talked about something with Sam – from under the water. When I was close enough I grabbed his leg and pulled it back so that he fell into the water, head first. The others laughed at him when he got up. I was still under the water when he called for me. "EMMETT! come up to the surface and fight like that leech you are!" Leech? What the fuck. He will pay for that remark I thought. I took in a mouthful of water. Then I got up to the surface, and just before Jake lunged at me, I spit all the water right into his face. "EWWW Emmett. That is disgusting." He said trying to get the water out of his eyes. I then noticed that the sun was about to set. "Umm sorry guys, but I guess I better get home." "Okay. See ya Emmett." I waved and ran into the woods.

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**A/N:**** Hope you liked it. Please tell me in a Review. It realy makes my day...**


	6. AN IMPORTANT!

**A/N: Hi everyone. I'm sorry I haven't postet any new capters lately. I'm planing on rewrite the story. When it's done I'll delete the story from this account. My little sister will be making stories for this account... since she's to young to understand or write english, She just has a good fantasy. I'll translate her storys and beta them. If you have any questiens about this, review this or PM my new accound DTwihard. I'll review this cap. if you should have problems find it... **

**oxox**

**DTwiHard**


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